We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I can feel your judgement through the phone
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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