I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just google imaged poop.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
