Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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