Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it was like eating out sand paper
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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