Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
is it fun? or sober?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
