Non-Jews are for practice
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
