That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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