Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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