a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
