I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
