you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
