your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
