is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
