I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
