Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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