I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
