I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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