coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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