Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
