mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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