Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
