i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
