So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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