you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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