i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I love you.
Bad choice
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