she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
