The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
