I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
