5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
