bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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