Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
