dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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