you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
now i know why i became what i already was.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
