She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Ladies don't puke and tell
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
