He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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