oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
