I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
