i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
