Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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