I think I died a long time ago.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
