You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She bit a glass in half.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
