dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
