hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
