he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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