wat bout pragnant strippers??
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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