I heard we made out
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
