is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Randomize
