My nipple is on Facebook.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
