After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
