Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
