Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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