Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
