Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
