the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
