they need to just BURY HIM!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
