is your mom at the bar?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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