i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
